Wow, I'm not really sure why I needed to blog this, but I guess it was necessary. I just want to take a moment just to reflect on my life since a year ago.
I think this year has been a really good year so far, almost two months into the school year. Last year, I was just getting into high school from junior high, and I can still remember what that was like. Even though it was a year ago, it feels so long.
Looking back at last year, I honestly don't understand why I did the things I did, because I was really immature, and I had no motivation for school. I spent countless nights skyping with some friends instead of doing homework, and I didn't care about homework. I didn't care about anything, really. I wanted to hang out, I wanted to have fun, and I felt so cool because I had some friends who were older. Guess how many of them I still talk to, now that they all graduated? (none)
This year has been great for me because this is the first year I'm getting my life together. I'm doing really well in school in my opinion, I have almost all A's except a high B+ in AP Calculus. Besides my grades, I'm taking three AP classes. I've been looking into colleges. I've been reading tenfold the amount I read last year. I get an hour of exercise first thing in the morning. I eat healthier and snack less. I sleep at 9:00 every night. I joined four clubs this year and enjoy all of them. I'm going to volunteer twice a week at two different places. I don't dress like a scrub. I've made so many friends this year that I know I'll be able to stick with, ones that won't drift away like the ones I talked to last year (I'm not really sure if it's anyone's fault though.) They say junior year is the hardest, the most important. On top of everything that I just said, I honestly don't think that it's hard, and I wish so hard that I could take last year back. I shouldn't have let my grades slip away (I GOT A C+), and I shouldn't have wasted my time so much. Even with my busy schedule, I have time for my homework and I have time for reading and sleeping, and recently, a few holiday movies.
Even though I'm still immature and sometimes irresponsible, I still think that I've gone a long way since a year ago, and I'm really proud of myself.
Now on-the-dot problems, I worked 12-13 hours on my AP Studio Arts scratchboard project, and all I needed to do was scratch in a face and I would've been done. I went into class and guess what? My teacher not only doesn't acknowledge the obvious hard work I did on the piece, but she points out that I should just keep the skin black. So I paint over the scratchboard person in India Ink and it's literally the most terrible thing ever. I mean, I know that if that was the best thing to do, I should've done it. But seriously, my piece is so ugly now, and the face is screwed up. I ruined my picture.
On top of that, I'm pretty sure that the teacher hates me. Like, she's really sweet and cute and I really like her, but I don't think she likes me. I try to get on her good side as much as I can, I say hi and bye when I walk in the door, I joined the Arts Honor Society, I work so hard on my pieces, and she'll point out every single one of my flaws quicker than she can adore everyone else's pieces. I know she's helping, but I can tell by her faces and her tone of voice she suddenly gets when she talks to me. I'll just say something to her and she'll look at me and nod, even if she's not talking to anyone or doing anything. Something that she would love someone else for. And even though I know that she doesn't like me, I still like her. But I don't understand.
That's a bit of a downer way to end this post, sorry.
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